• 26Apr

    The Mayan civilization is a pretty awesome group of people who lived in Mesoamerica. For archaeological purposes, the civilization is divided into three main time periods: Pre-classical (2000 BCE – 250 CE), Classical (250 CE – 900 CE) and Post-Classical (900 CE – arrival of the Spanish). The size and influence of the population varied quite a bit over time (at one point reaching the most densely populated civilization on Earth at the time). They were a very influential force for many years, suffered through several rises and collapses, but they always managed to survive and rebuild - up until they got their asses kicked by the Spanish and broke apart indefinitely. Direct descendents of the Maya are still around today, however, and various live languages and cultural traditions are derived from the ones used during the height of the Mayan empire, so they haven’t completely vanished.

    The Maya are particularly known for coming up with advances in art, a complicated writing system, cool architecture, astronomy and, especially, accurate calendars.

    This is an example of a Mayan calendar.

    This is an example of a Mayan calendar.

    I’ve always had a soft spot for Mayan mythology. They just told really cool stories.  It’s not just “poof, everything exists”. There are epic struggles, humans winning contests with gods, humans losing contests with gods, dramtic tournaments, jaguars running about bugging people, cool looking unpronounceable names and feathered serpents everywhere.

    The Maya were never a single, unified people. There were different languages, different calendars and presumably, different stories. Human sacrifice was widely practiced – the gods lived off humans. Bloodletting was also important – self-piercing of the tongue or the penis, to release the blood that feeds the hungry gods. Time was seen as cyclical, not linear. Everything was based off cycles – whether they were talking about things happening on Earth or things happening with the gods. Analyses of these cycles were thought to be important and could be used to predict the future.

    The jaguar, the plant maize, and the ball court (where a very popular game involving a rubber ball and hoops was played) were sacred and were integral to many of their stories. The Maya had various gods but they were often rather vague characters - not really good, not really evil, mostly just hanging about. Often, they were personifications of things like the living cycle of maize and a lot of the gods are not particularly distinct from other gods, almost interchangeable with each other. Instead, a lot of stories focused around specific heroes, who often managed to cheat or fool the gods and win things for humanity.

    This is the first part of a three part series. I will tell the story of the creation of humans. My source is “Aztec & Maya Myths” by Karl Taube.

    At first, there was nothing. Zip. Blank. No animals running around, no trees growing, no crabs walking in the ocean, no insects walking on the ground. There was only the sky and it was empty. The rest was just an endless expanse of water and everything was utterly still and silent.

    Coiled under this water, surrounded by beautiful blue and green shimmering feathers, was the feathered serpent, Gucumatz.

    In the sky, above the water, floated Huracan, who often appears as three forms of lighting.

    Within this still silence, Gucumatx and Huracan became rather bored and started chatting to one another. They talked about the awesome creation of the universe, the first dawn, the making of the people and their food.

    As they talked, their very words caused mountains and earth to suddenly rise from the waters. Trees and forests instantly popped up from the newly formed ground.

    “Sweet!” They said. “That’s totally awesome! But let’s make something to inhabit this kick-ass earth and then they can worship us too!”

    So, the creators made birds, deer, jaguars and serpents – all creatures of the forest and mountains. Grinning at the creatures, knowing what an awesome world they have created for them, the creators sat back and waited to bask in praise for their awesomeness. But the praise didn’t come. The animals didn’t seem to be able to talk. They just squaked or howled and ran about.

    “Dammit!” said Gucumatx to Huracan, “That’s totally not cool. What’s the point of these creatures if they can’t properly speak and worship us?”

    “I know!” said Hurucan. “Let’s try again. We might as well let these things stay and they can become food for people that will worship us.”

    So, for the second time, the creators tried to make some people who would worship them. This time, they modeled them out of clay. But again, they couldn’t talk. The words just didn’t make sense and the bodies were pretty badly made anyways and just kept crumbling apart and dissolving in water. Not good.

    “Screw that!” said the creators. They broke up the clay creatures and tried again.

    Not wanting to fail again, they consulted a couple of diviners, Xpiyacoc and Xmucane. (They were presumably hanging out somewhere nearby, rather quietly). The soothsayers used all their best methods – casting maize grain and red seeds and consulting the sacred calendar. They decided that the humans should be made out of wood. Yes, that would work!

    “Yay!” said the creators. And so they made people out of wood.

    Fail. Although the men were made of wood and the women were made of rushes, it just didn’t work out. They could look and talk and multiply like people, but they were bloodless and expressionless. They just didn’t have souls or any real understanding about the world. And without understanding, they could not properly worship their creators.

    This pissed off the creators, who were rather annoyed by all this work. In anger, they conjured up an enormous flood. Water poured down from the sky and roared through the world. Demons rose up and gouged out the earth and tore apart the wooden people. Even animals and utensils rose up against them. Birds flew at them and their plates and cooking pots and grinding stones and water jars suddenly came to life and attacked them, smashing their expressionless wooden faces.

    The wooden people tried to flee this onslaught but there was nowhere to go. Everywhere they ran, there were things attacking them. Eventually, almost all were killed, except for a couple of them who managed to escape the slaughter. The descendents of these wooden beings are the forest monkeys, left as a sign of this thoughtless creation.

    After the flood subsides and everyone is dead, the earth is once again empty of all humans. But the gods knew that they needed people to sustain them with prayers and offerings. They needed to find some way to get rid of all the demons now hanging out on earth and they had to find a way to make proper humans.

    To be continued…

  • 21Apr

    I recently went online to check out the Canadian Blood Services. I have not given blood before and it is something that I would like to start, but I wanted more information first.

    After a bit of Googling, I ended up on the actual Canadian Blood Services site, a charitable organization that is responsible for a huge amount of blood donations a year. I figured that they would have the most up-to-date scientific information and could answer my questions.

    Instead, one of the first things I see is the sentence: “What does your blood type say about you?”  My heart sinking, I clicked on the link, hoping that it would tell me that my blood types means that I am a human being and that I can donate my blood to others who share that specific blood type.

    Nope.

    Instead, it tells me that:

    So, you’re an A. You already know that having type A blood suggests that you are reliable, a team player and may benefit from a vegetarian diet. Did you also know that anthropologists believe that type A blood originated in Asia or the middle east between 25,000 and 15,000 BC?

    Sigh. Ok, the anthropological data is cool. I am glad that I know that now. It is indeed interesting that different blood types evolved at different times.  At least they acknowledge evolution. But my blood type means that I am a team player? My blood type says that I must be reliable? My blood type indicates that I should be a vegetarian?

    Why is this here? I know that the silly blood typing personality thing is a cross over from a long standing Japanese tradition. I know that it remains popular there and can even impact job opportunities and marriages. But that doesn’t make it right. My blood type merely specifies what specific antigens that I have in my body. That is all.

    I know that it is not a huge deal. But silly things like this do bother me. It’s pandering to ignorance and wishful thinking and has no place within an organization devoted to science.

  • 19Apr

    This week’s Sunday Sermon comes from my own country. Although Canada is not particularly well known for it’s mythology, there have been people living here for at least 12,000 years. The indigenous cultures found here have been orally based  - they told stories but they did not write them down. So a lot of interesting stuff has surely been lost through time. However, there are groups out there that still live in fairly traditional ways and still tell the stories that have been passed down through generations. Whether these stories are accurate representations of similar tales told over the past few thousands of years….I don’t know. Being of a literate culture, it’s hard to imagine how an oral culture works. I watch how a rumour spreads and changes or how memes spread across the Internet and wonder if anything is ever static. But then again, I see how much of our own language, our own stories, are based off the Greeks and Romans from a couple of thousand years ago and the continutity is also fascinating. So, stories are powerful and some are bound to get passed on.

    This story is one that is still told today by the Inuit of the Arctic. Inuit stories are often simply told, with little elaboration, yet they are powerful in concept and are often full of meaning. The stories explain where things come from - the seals, the wind, the dirt or the Earth. The stories explain what happened in the past and what people should do in the present.

    There are many different versions to this particular myth. The names change, the specific details vary quite a bit but the essense of the story stays the same. The myth of Sedna is fairly central within the Inuit belief system, appearing in various different forms across many regions and cultural groups. Sedna has many different names - Nuliajuk (the poor wife), Niviarsiang (the girl), Kavna (she down there), Takanakapsaluk (the terrible one down there) and many others. She personified both the tragedies of life as well as the mysteries of creation. She controlled the sea creatures - and that meant that the people depended on her for survival. She was a powerful spirit. You don’t mess with Sedna.

    Here is one version of her tale. My refrence source is the book “The Inuit Imagination: Arctic Myth and Sculpture” by Harold Seidelman and James Turner.

    Just so you know, a fulmer is a large white bird that hangs out on clifts a lot.

    Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Sedna, who lived with her dad on a quiet shore. Her mom had been dead for ages so it was just the two of them, but they were happy together. Sedna grew up to be quite pretty and was rather proud of it. Soon enough, the local boys were flocking to her, begging for her hand in marriage.

    She looked at them all, smirked, and said “Nah.”

    One spring, just as the ice began to break up, a fulmer came to visit her. He started to sing and his song was beautiful. Sedna couldn’t help but be entranced by him.

    “Come with me!” The fulmer sang. “My place, the land of the birds, is freaking awesome. No one is ever hungry and my house is totally sweet, you’ll love it! You can sleep on soft bearskins! Seriously! My buddies, the other fulmers, will bring you anything you could ever want – you will have plenty of beautiful clothing, oil in your lamp and all the meat you could possibly eat.”

    Sedna was rather impressed by this offer. So she agreed to marry him and set off to join her new husband in the land of the fulmers.

    Shockingly, when they finally arrived at his place, it was not quite as glorious as she had been told. The house was made out of fish skins and was falling apart.  There were holes everywhere, the rain and snow just poured in unabated.  Instead of an awesome bearskin for a bed, Sedna had to sleep on hard crunchy walrus hides and she had to live off rotten fish. Sedna was not happy.

    Sedna was angry at the fulmer for lying to her and was feeling annoyed at herself for being such a sucker. With tears in her eyes, she suddenly sang out “Daddy! Come save me! This place totally sucks!”

    He didn’t hear her. Sedna sulked and grumpily ate some fish.

    A year passed. Sedna was still eating fish. But the weather was getting warmer and her father decided to come and visit his daughter. Sedna launched herself at him, so happy to see him, and pleaded for rescue. She told her father all about the drafty house and the crappy fish and her father was outraged. No one messes with his little girl!

    So, Dad promptly killed the fulmer, grabbed the girl and they took off in his boat. Soon after that, the fulmer’s buddies came home and found their friend dead on the ground. Sad, angry and wanting revenge, they took off after the boat. The massive beating of their wings created an enormous storm beneath them. The waves in the sea were staggeringly high and threatened to overturn the boat at any moment. This scared Sedna’s dad. He didn’t want to die. So he did the only thing he could think of.

    He tossed Sedna overboard.

    Sedna was pretty quick though. She just managed to grab the side of the boat and hung on for her life. Her dad, having already decided on his course of action, grabbed his knife. He chopped off the first joints of her fingers. As soon as the severed fingers hit the water, they transformed into whales, the nails turning into whalebones. Still, Sedna managed to hold on.

    Gritting his teeth, good old Dad chopped at her fingers again, this time severing the second joints. These swam away as seals. Still, Sedna hung on.

    Getting rather annoyed at how long this was taking, Sedna’s father thrust down his knife one more time and chopped off the stumps of her fingers, which became ground seals.

    Meanwhile, the storm subsided because the flock of angry fulmers thought that Sedna was drowned and left to go mourn their old buddy. Dad finally noticed this and graciously allowed Sedna back into the boat.

    However, Sedna was somewhat pissed off at him at this point. She glared at him and plotted bitter revenge.  Soon after they got ashore, she called out to her dogs and sent them to attack her dad. They gnawed off his feet and hands as he slept. When he woke up, he was naturally annoyed at this and cursed the whole mess of the situation and everyone involved – himself, his daughter and the dogs.

    Suddenly, the earth opened up and swallowed them all. Since then, they have lived at the bottom of the sea, where Sedna rules over all sea creatures.

  • 12Apr

    I am fascinated by mythology. Throughout my years of study, I’ve read hundreds of different myths from quite a few different cultures over a long period of time. There is just something really interesting about hearing a story that people were telling thousands of years ago. Some of them include great moral lessons. Others are just strange. A lot of them are linked together with common themes that seem to cross all language, temporal and geographical barriers. Whether you are reading the Bible, the Epic of Gilgamesh or the Egyptian Book of the Dead, they are full of human experiences: love, hate, revenge, good deeds, horrible decisions, good choices, wars, disease, friendship, family, and torture, all enacted by various forms of gods, humans, and animals.

    I think too many people get stuck examining only whichever mythology they were raised to think of as normal. And they are missing out. The variety of stories out there is simply amazing! It’s worth studying them too. I think my cross cultural studies of mythology really confirmed my atheism because it helped me to put mythology into it’s place. Mythology is an interesting way of looking at the world through stories. You might learn something, you might not. Some stories might make you angry, some are bemusing, others are abhorrent. But at least they make you think and they are ways of expressing ideas. They can give you a glimpse into the mindset of people who died thousands of years ago. And that is just cool.

    So I am going to start doing a weekly Sunday Sermon. Every Sunday, I will tell you a story. The story might be from any source - the Bible, an ancient Egyptian papyrus, a Babylonian stone tablet. The details will be true to the original, the snark will be mine.  I will try to keep as close to the original sources as possible (although mostly relying on translations, since I don’t read ancient languages.) I will also always provide the orignal source or the book that I used in which to read it. I will leave the interpreation of the stories up to you.

    I hope you enjoy them. I enjoy telling them.

    Since it’s Easter and it is a holiday that got co-opted by zombie Jesus, I think I’ll start with a story from the Bible. Most of you have probably heard this one as it is fairly popular. But the message and morality contain within it are certainly interesting, to say the least.

    Lot: My Hotel is Awesome.
    The Bible, Old Testament, New International Version
    Genesis 19:1-29

    The story begins when two angels who come down to earth and apparently need a hotel. So, Lot, a proactive inkeeper, spots them and shouts out: “Hey, guys, over here! Wash your feet and hang out at my place!”

    The angels look at him scornfully and say “Nah, we’ll hang out in the square.”

    But Lot won’t take no for an answer. He insists that they come in and starts fussing over them. He makes them some loaves of cool yeast-less bread and gets them to eat it. The angels decide to stay for the night (must have been yummy bread) and head off to bed.

    But, perhaps drawn in by some apparent angelic pheromones in the air, a bunch of horny men show up at the door and yell out “hey, where are those guys staying at your place? We want to have sex with them!”

    Lot, obviously concerned for the welfare of his clients, comes outside and shuts the door behind him and shushes the angry crowd. He tells them:

    “No, seriously guys, you can’t do that.  Look, I can give you my two virgin daughters instead, do whatever you want with them! Just don’t mess with my customers!

    But the men outside decline his kind fatherly offer and move to break down the door.

    The angels inside the inn get pissed off at this and strike the guys outside with blindness, apparently so they won’t be able to find the door.

    Then, the angels tell Lot, the man who was about to gratuitously give his young daughters to a horny mob, to get out of the city.  Because God is merciful. God then blows up the city.

  • 06Apr

    I’m currently giving the blog a face lift, so things might get strange for the next couple of days as I fiddle around with it. But it will emerge with a much higher portion of awesome.

  • 03Apr

    Another MP has recently proved that he does not actually know what science is and wants everyone to bow down to scientific ignorance in the name of “tolerance”. In the House of Commons, no less.

    James Lunney is a conservative MP who recently gave this fallacy ridden speech. I assume he was talking about the silly little problem of the Minister of Science not knowing what science is:

    “Mr. Speaker, recently we saw an attempt to ridicule the presumed beliefs of a member of this House and the belief of millions of Canadians in a creator. Certain individuals in the media and the scientific community have exposed their own arrogance and intolerance of beliefs contrary to their own. Any scientist who declares that the theory of evolution is a fact has already abandoned the foundations of science. For science establishes fact through the study of things observable and reproducible. Since origins can neither be reproduced nor observed, they remain the realm of hypothesis.

    In science, it is perfectly acceptable to make assumptions when we do not have all the facts, but it is never acceptable to forget our assumptions. Given the modern evidence unavailable to Darwin, advanced models of plate techtonics, polonium radiohalos, polystratic fossils, I am prepared to believe that Darwin would be willing to re-examine his assumptions.

    The evolutionists may disagree, but neither can produce Darwin as a witness to prove his point. The evolutionists may genuinely see his ancestor in a monkey, but many modern scientists interpret the same evidence in favour of creation and a creator.

    Sigh.

    Ok, Mr. Lunney, first of all, no one was “disrespecting” the right for the guy to believe in a creator. Seriously, most of us couldn’t care less. But we sure were disrespecting his career since he was supposed to be the Minister of Science and clearly had no idea what the concept meant. That is a problem.

    Secondy, evolution is a fact. I suggest that you read about what a scientific theory actually means before moaning about it. You just show your complete lack of knowledge by whinging about it being “just a theory” and it’s sad.

    Thirdy, “intolerant of beliefs” is a phrase that is too widely thrown around. Tolerance does not mean that we should all bow down to ignorance. Believe what you want but don’t change facts and evidence to suit it. It is not intolerant to defend science. It is not intolerant to expose ignorance. It is not intolerant to expose blatant lying and twisting of facts. It’s honesty.

    Fourthly, evolution has be observed over and over and over and over and over again. Look up some of science that has been done over the past couple of centuries. You might be surprised.

    Fifthly, evolution has absolutely nothing to do with the origins of life. Evolution is about how organisms CHANGE over time. That’s it. Maybe you should look up the definition of something before you start arguing against it.

    Wow, that was just the first paragraph.

    Sixthly, WE DO NOT WORSHIP CHARLES DARWIN. Really. We don’t. Seriously. And your silly little speech is a good example of why science does not rely on an appeal to authority. Sure, Darwin got some details wrong. That’s ok, that’s what science is for! Science provides a methodolody that enables people to constantly examine and question and refine and test new ideas. Believe it or not, Mr. Lunney, more than a couple of people have examined evolution since Charles Darwin. You might want to ask them about it.

    The whole speech feels like he picked up a couple of books on Intelligent Design, flipped through them casually and then created his whole concept of science around that. It’s silly and it is sad that this person supposedly has a scientific background and even sadder that he wants to promote ignorance for the sake of religious tolerance.

    Come on, Canada, we need some politicians out there who can think, not just repeat the words of the last book that they read and try to hide from the world under the umbrella of religious tolerance.

  • 02Apr

    This is a great little video on open mindedness.

    Now, if only people who need to watch it would actually watch it with an open mind. Sigh.